Make America Great Again Trump Russia Parody
Book excerpt: "Brand Russian federation Great Over again" by Christopher Buckley
In "Make Russian federation Great Again" (Simon & Schuster), the latest satire from the bestselling author of "Thank you for Smoking," Christopher Buckley writes a White House tell-all, featuring a thinly-disguised Trump administration whose chief of staff – a former Trump Resorts manager – is called upon to broker a thing of national security involving Russian elections. Yes, it's fiction.
Read an excerpt from "Brand Russian federation Slap-up Again" below:
"How could you work for a man like that?"
"What were you thinking?"
"What possessed you?"
All the time I get this, even in here, which frankly strikes me as a chip rich. Who knew inmates at federal correctional institutions had such keenly developed senses of moral superiority?
Let me say, at the start I had no illusions when I agreed to serve equally Donald Trump's White House chief of staff. I did non seek the task, nor did I imagine, even for a moment, that information technology would exist a "picnic," a "walk in the park," or some other metaphor for "wonderful, life-enhancing experience." I certainly didn't
imagine that it would culminate in having a mailing address consisting of an acronym and numbers recognizable only to the U.S. Mail service.
Call me old-fashioned. My view is that when your president calls, you choice upwardly the phone. My wife, Hetta, urged me – literally – not to pick up the phone when she saw "POTUS" on the caller ID.
"Hetta," I said, "I can't not take a call from the president of the United states."
"Yep yous can!" she hissed, sounding like an inverted Obama slogan. She remonstrated, equally only Hetta can. But I picked upwardly. Let history record that when the president called, Herbert K. Nutterman took the phone call.
The operator put me through to the Oval Office. I heard the familiar voice: "How's my favorite Jew?"
Hetta was now shaking her head, making fierce "No!" and "Hang upwardly!" gestures. It's distracting to have your wife practice this when you are talking to the nearly powerful man on earth.
Mr. Trump often called me "My favorite Jew." (When he was pleased with me, that is.) Sometimes just "My Jew." I didn't especially enjoy information technology, but I emphasize it was non anti-Semitism.
Mr. Trump is many things, only anti-Semitic is not one of them. It'south just his style. Many people who grow up in Queens, a borough of New York Metropolis, talk this way. Mr. Trump called i of the White House butlers of colour "My favorite African American." At that place was a navy steward in the White Business firm Mess he always greeted with, "How'south my favorite Mexican today?"*
* The steward was really Filipino, but he never corrected the president. To be honest, I don't recall Mr. Trump had any "favorite" Mexicans.
I told Mr. Trump that his favorite Jew was fine, thanks. I apace added – for Hetta's sake – "I'1000 finding retirement very pleasant, sir. Very pleasant."
Hetta shook her head as if to say, "Oy!" (a Yiddish expression generally meaning "My husband is an idiot"). She stomped off to the kitchen. Soon at that place came a cacophony of Calphalon pots. Hetta copes
with stress by cooking. From one specially resonant thunk, I guessed that she had dropped the large soup pot. Perhaps on purpose. A slap-up maker of soup is my Hetta. I hoped it was borscht, as I was very partial to Hetta'southward borscht.
From "Make Russia Dandy Over again" by Christopher Buckley. Copyright © 2020 by Christopher Taylor Buckley. Excerpted with permission by Simon & Schuster.
For more info:
- "Brand Russia Smashing Once more" past Christopher Buckley (Simon & Schuster), in Hardcover, eBook and Audio formats, available via Amazon
- christopherbuckley.com
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